Sunday, January 02, 2011

Hey 2011, welcome to the party.

Oh, PS, in case I forget, I'm giving up chocolate in 2011. Apparently I confuse New Years with lent, despite not being catholic and always unintentionally doing that chest/forehead/shoulder touching thing in the wrong order.

In 2007 I boycotted non-sandwich related fast food. 2008 was Wal-Mart, but then I went when out of province so stopped after I bought Skittles and sunglasses at an Albertan Wal-Mart. 2009 was FRENCH FRIES (the ketchup cravings were overpowering my logic). 2010 was going to be the Bulk Barn but that got boring and meant I was buying giant packages of candy at the grocery store as opposed to small servings at the Bulk Barn.

This will be my most challenging year to date. In terms of fake lent. My most real challenging year was 1983, when I could only communicate by baby noises and was unable to sit up on my own. I overcame those challenges and can now communicate using real words and can generally walk long distances without falling. Generally. Not guaranteed.

Footnote: Chocolate fake lent does not exist when in Europe.

Oh, and if I order non-chocolate cheesecake and the plate comes drizzled with chocolate syrup on it that's okay because that tastes like crap anyway.

Or if it's a matter of life or death. (Robber: "Jennifer, if you don't eat this piece of chocolate I will shoot all the Shetland ponies in the entire world!!" or, Doctor: "If you don't eat this piece of chocolate your heart will erupt!")

And to clarify, the subject of this post will be read, "Hey, two thousand and eleven...", not, "Hey, twenty eleven..." because twenty and eleven is actually thirty one. In roman numerals it is MMXI, not XXXI.

You're welcome, and good night.

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